How To Marry An Investment Banker (tm)

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Closed Teachers Are Much Cheaper Beards

entry Jul 7 2005, 10:47 PM
Attached Image - Harry Les Trade


This guy named Andrew Krucoff did an analysis of the wedding section of the New York Times for Gawker.com.

I always wondered what un-hot guys did all day. I hate to be rude, but I have to agree with Peter's declaration in his Steve Rubel Not Hot post. Seriously, if I wasn't seriously hot and seriously fuckable, not only would I not be able to get out of bed in the morning, I think I would just put a bullet in my brain and just put an end to the agony of defeat. Andrew Krucoff is cute (you know, like a monkey's antics are cute even though the monkey itself is like ugly?), but, I don't know why he keeps on banging his head against the wall with this fantasy that un-hot guys can become rich and famous. Krucoff should take some driving classes and just prepare for his fate as Lockhart Steele's Chauffeur.

Anywho, an analysis of the New York Time's wedding section showed that the major pairings for finance guys was/is:

Finance-Finance
Finance-Education
Finance-Ad/Mrkt/Sales

Obviously, the Finance-Finance and Finance-Ad/Markt/Sales pairings all happen when delusional wide-eyed finance/marketing beauches realize that there ain't no where to go in New York City with a vagina, and that being married to a rich gay man is better than the fate that awaits Single White Trash Females in New York City. I mean, a vagina in an investment bank is like raid to a roach colony (wait, that doesn't really work does it? I mean, isn't a vagina any where in NYC like raid to a roach colony?).

For some reason Krucoff and others couldn't understand the pairings of investment bankers with a lot of teachers. The finance-finance and finance-Ad/Mrkt/Sales things are very risky couplings and they are very expensive divorces. Teachers are much cheaper beards.

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Comments

Guest
post Jul 12 2005, 08:14 AM
Comment #1


Unregistered
Why do you think you're hot? Are you seeing the same picture that the rest of us do? You're best feature is your lip gloss; otherwise, you're just plain hideous. And you are so not the guy to be calling anyone white trash, i mean, are you from jerset or what?
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Harry Les Trade
post Jul 13 2005, 02:04 AM
Comment #2


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From: White Trash City (tm) aka New York City
Member No.: 24
Apologies to Andrew Krucoff

Please, in no way were we trying to imply that Andrew Krucoff is ugly. No, not at all. We were merely voicing an innocent opinion that Krucoff is not hot enough to ever be successful. I really don't see how the guy could have interpreted our statement as some kind of insult (some people are so sensitive).

btw, I posted a comment on Young Manhattanite explaining that we simply think that Krucoff is not good looking enough to be gay, but then we remembered that Musto is still alive. (There wasn't any edit feature on that comment thingy over there).


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Harry Les Trade
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Peter Everhard
post Jul 13 2005, 03:27 AM
Comment #3


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Come on now, Harry. My post about Steve Rubel was just a joke because Rubel posted a comment on his blog, http://www.micropersuasion.com , saying that character blogs were a waste of time.

There are a lot of really really ugly people who have become successful, Craig Newmark, Denton, Calacanis,... way more people than I can name here. In fact, some people say that being butt ugly is like a motivator to become successful. You have to think that an ugly person probably doesn't look ugly to another ugly person. I mean, Giuliani has been married three times, sure one of them was his cousin, but still.

And, saying that the guy's fate is to be Lockhart Steele's Chauffeur is just down right cruel ... Wasn't there a blind item on Page Six about a guy and his girlfriend getting a "comp" limo from some tv network? The story said that the guy dropped off his girlfriend at the network and then went on a tour of gay bars. Oh, I'm not implying anything, just recalling the blind item is all.


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Peter Everhard ™
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Randy Pecker
post Jul 13 2005, 04:01 AM
Comment #4


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That Blind Item on Page Six was about a married man and his wife on the west coast. Just because Curbed.com stopped linking to your stupid posts ... You have this need, don't you?

And, there are straight White Guys in New York who aren't Genetically Engineered Heterosexuals. I don't personally know any, but I've heard of them.


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Randy Pecker ™ aka
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Gary B Doinem
post Jul 13 2005, 04:23 PM
Comment #5


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Member No.: 26
Are we now officially The Gays?


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